Staunton, Va June 2017
Annie’s ever elusive friend, abciv an innovative textile artist, who uses re-claimed industrial materials, such as conveyor belts and tractor tires for outwear and accessories, has lighted upon the notion of neoprene and air bag canvas as an abrasion, proof-ulta-resistant fabric. So willing to prove the strength of his handmade, hand-tailored ensembles, he has invited the strongest woman he has met, no other–you guessed it, MOI! to test it out in real time.
And man, was I ready to bust some airbags!!
Taking the circus to the road, Annie visits the Shenandoah Valley to shake their toughest bough from the it’s tree. This America’s best small town, has a mountain of a man to offer up as their hometown hero.
An incredible 6’6″ vegetable farmer, El Guapo, is a head higher than the highest corn stalk and he isn’t going to let some big-wig outta-towner come in and plow him down.
Certainly not in front of his friends and folks alike…
What he isn’t prepared for is this big City girl’s tricks. He may be able to out-man her, but he is certainly isn’t able to out-maneuver her, as she humiliates him in a epic pin- fish hook combo that leaves his eyes lolling, and his limbs thrashing. It certainly is a trans-formative psychological moment for El Guapo. She chomps chomps his wrist and his ankle, as a flurry of vengeful female onlookers chant her on…forgetting perhaps whom they came to root for… Banjos explode and just to make sure the momentum keeps swingin’ she even hooks him by 1 nostril….one evil little finger yanked in there and worming around…. leaving him in catatonic shock, shrinking down to his knees. It is easy work once she has felled this tender foot newbie…
And just to drive home the point…who could just walk away from this treatment unscathed?!?
Caught candidly, on spectators cell phone, this major ass kicking left the couture items intact, however, poor El Guapo ends up strewn on his back, dignity lost…when Annie whacks him with an airbag prop—steering wheel still attached…well all I can humanly say is—